Just when it became normal to drop five figures on a thicker hairline, a new cultural vanguard rose up and said: “Fuck it, we bald.” In 2025, a full head of hair has never been more publicly coveted, or attainable, with science closing in on miracle follicle treatments and Hollywood’s leading men flaunting age-defying manes. And yet, as millions raced to the supplements aisle and secret Turkish clinics, the proudly tress-less remade the culture in their image. Now, bald is brave. Bald is sexy. Bald is life.

I first started paying attention in March, during the 2025 Academy Awards. The bald nominees seemed to be the only ones behaving; paragons of modesty, they showed reverence for the arts over themselves. Of the three Emilia Pérez winners for Best Original Song, only the hairless

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