• Lace Larrabee is a 41-year-old who felt that Thanksgiving was a burden she carried alone. • After divorcing her husband nearly two years ago, she has started dating her girlfriend. • The two women share the load now when it comes to celebrations.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Lace Larrabee, a touring stand-up comedian. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Until this year, I had always been the person in my relationships who planned and implemented holiday plans — first with my long-term boyfriend and then with my husband. It all fell on me.

Gatherings with family and friends to celebrate is a priority for me, but my past partners never seemed interested in birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I just took it all on myself.

We got divorce

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