As Black children, many of us grew up under the rule that we were to be seen and not heard. We were taught to respect our elders without question, often at the cost of our own voices, boundaries and sometimes even our self-worth. Defending ourselves, no matter how respectful, was often labeled as “talking back” and quickly disciplined. Some of us were even taught to “love” and accept people who treated us, or our parents, with clear disrespect. The command to “forgive” and “keep the family together” often meant prioritizing the comfort of elders over our own feelings and healing. But as adults, we’re learning that setting boundaries is essential, even if it means facing pushback from family members.

With the holidays fast approaching, many of us will be journeying home, ready to connect w

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