I ate and ranked every ‘Yellowstone’ frozen food and all I got was this lousy article

BILLINGS — Two things you should know about me: I don’t watch “Yellowstone” and I don’t like frozen dinners.

That first point is easier to explain. I don’t watch “Yellowstone” not because it’s bad, although it is, but because nobody in Montana watches “Yellowstone.” A friend of mine turned off the show in disgust because it showed the Dutton ranch calving while there were still leaves on the trees.

There’s the mortifying ordeal of being known, and then there’s the even more mortifying ordeal of being known by people who watch the Paramount Network.

Plus, despite all the whinging done in this state and the buckets of ink that have gone into thinkpiece after thinkpiece, statistically most people don’t watch “Yellowstone.”

Approximately 12 million people watched the show’s season five pre