When it rains, it pours - and for Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor it's a self-inflicted monsoon of misery. If he hadn't had it coming after his dreadful behaviour over the last few decades 'one' could almost feel sorry for him. But I don't.

The regal chopper - no, that's not another nickname for ' Randy Andy ' - has hefted its axe already on Andrew's titles, cleaving him of being a prince, the Duke of York, Earl of Inverness and Baron Killyleagh, Colonel of the Grenadier Guards, and his ceremonial knighthoods. With an ego the size of the Hindenburg, Andrew will feel not so much deflated as irrevocably crushed.

Now we all know that Andrew feared his links to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein would see him erased off the UK landscape - but no-one thought it would happen literally.

So to

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