WASHINGTON, D.C. — The conflict among congressional Republicans took yet another surprise twist today. After what had initially started as a throwaway nomination, the nation was left stunned as the position of Speaker of the House was unexpectedly filled by Jar Jar Binks.

"Meesa very honored to be takin' dis position of House Speaker," Binks said in his acceptance speech following the vote. "Weesa gonna achieve many bombad things for da American people."

After nominating other candidates like Andy Biggs, Jim Jordan, Byron Donalds, and even former President Donald Trump, the small group of Republican holdouts who refused to vote for Kevin McCarthy eventually ran out of options. "We were really just scraping the bottom of the barrel," said Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz, who led the charge

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