A couple of weeks ago I FaceTimed my husband while he was out of town for work. Our toddler was next to me and at first he was excited to see his dad, but very quickly he started crying out for “Grandma!” My youngest son, H., is obsessed with his grandmother. She lives just a ten-minute drive away, but she often FaceTimes us — which is why he assumed she was somewhere just out of the front-facing camera’s frame — and he grabs the phone out of my hands. When he does see her in person, he runs into her arms like they’re long-lost friends just reunited after many years apart.
It’s beautiful to see — but like anything with moms, it’s complicated.
My own relationship with my mother is far less straightforward than my toddler’s. Over the years, mixed in with all the good stuff, we’ve had t

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