Key points

Sobriety doesn’t have to follow a single model—different paths work for different people.

LGBTQ people often face unique challenges that can influence substance use and recovery.

Self-reflection, healing shame, and understanding your patterns are key to lasting sobriety.

For many people, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is synonymous with sobriety from substances. The 12-step model has helped millions around the world, and I have deep respect for the freedom it has given so many—including friends, clients, and people I love. But 12-steps isn’t the only way.

And it wasn’t my way.

I didn’t get sober through AA. My path looked different, and for years I hesitated to talk about it because I never wanted to diminish the value of the 12-step approach for those who rely on it.

But as a

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