WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a somber ceremony this morning, leading government officials announced that the US Constitution, the oldest surviving national constitution and the founding document of the world's leading democracy, will be entirely replaced by the last wishes of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

"She was a super lady and everybody loved her," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "I think the least we can do to honor her memory is get rid of that musty old Constitution, which I'll remind you nobody likes anyway, and replace it with the last wishes of Justice Ginsburg, who was much less old and musty than the Constitution and definitely smelled much better, I promise you."

Among the list of Ginsburg's wishes that will now make up the governing principles of the nation

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