KITCHENER, ON

Citing his pacifist principles, Mr. Gordon Eby, 71, of Kitchener has submitted a formal written request to enter into “alternative service” during next year’s Oscar Party.

“As a member of a historic peace church, I cannot in good conscience watch the Academy Awards,” said Eby. “I feel that even by watching it, I am somehow participating, so I am requesting forestry service in Northern Ontario during next year’s broadcast.”

Eby will have to stand before a judge, who will determine whether his conscientious objection to watching the Oscars is truly founded on his religious convictions.

“Pastor Dave is willing to testify that I shouldn’t really be watching movies and television in the first place,” said Eby, “so I think I should have no trouble convincing a judge that watchi

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