Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My partner and I have a 4-year-old child. We’ve been together for seven years and bought a house together a year ago. Since the beginning of our relationship, I have been clear about wanting two children. He was clear about wanting none.

I made plans to get pregnant and solo-parent-by-choice (we weren’t living together yet), but before those plans materialized, I accidentally got pregnant with my partner. He really stepped up. He loves our child deeply and gives 110 percent. We share child care and house care duties equally; we work equal hours per week at our jobs. But I still want a second kid, and he absolutely does not. I know a kid is a “two y

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