Devastated families are still grasping for answers in the birthday party mass shooting in Stockton, California that left four people dead including three children and an adult Saturday night as the FBI now has a $50,000 reward for information into the shooting.

“I can’t live with the fact that I couldn’t save my son,” said Patrick Peterson. His 14-year-old son, Amari, of Modesto, was killed in the shooting. Peterson’s 9-year-old daughter was also injured, but escaped by fleeing out a back doorway and climbing a fence to safety, he said.

Peterson and paramedics tried desperately to save Amari’s life before the teen was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was later pronounced dead.

“I can’t believe I’m talking about my son in the past tense,” Peterson told The Bee in a telephone intervie

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