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Generations A and Z contain multitudes. While some kids are gleefully crapping out AI-generated Rizzmas carols—holiday brain-rot so potent it should probably be classified as a controlled substance—other kids are dissecting the work of esoteric 19th-century novelist Robert W. Chambers like they’re in a graduate seminar. And they’re the same kids. So we’re whipsawing between rizz and cosmic horror, with side quests to discover Diddy tag and this year’s hottest Christmas toy.

What is “67 Rizzmas”?

In what’s becoming a regrettable holiday tradition, the internet has begun releasing rizzmas carols—brainrot versions of beloved seasonal songs. (“Rizz” is slang for charisma, but here it’s just a stand-in for meaningless meme-speak.) In the past

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