MANHATTAN, NY — District Attorney Alvin Bragg unsealed new charges today, now alleging that former President Donald Trump tossed Baby Penguin off of Cool, Cool Mountain.

"Trump held Baby Penguin over his head, and - despite the desperate cries of Mother Penguin - launched Baby Penguin off the side of Cool, Cool Mountain," said Mr. Bragg. "If you listen close, residents of Cool, Cool Mountain say you can still hear the wails of Mother Penguin to this day."

According to Bragg, Mr. Trump had been asked to locate and return the lost Baby Penguin known as "Tuxie" in exchange for a gold star. "The arrangement between Trump and Mother Penguin likely violated campaign finance laws," said Mr. Bragg. "Yet that pales in comparison to the heinous act of callously flinging Baby Penguin to certain doo

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