SPRINGFIELD, VA — As the Department of Homeland Security sought to tighten security across the board for travelers around the country, the Transportation Security Administration announced that anyone who doesn't acquire a Real ID by the appointed deadline will be sent to a screening line manned by Creepy Kevin.

Though the government agency responsible for providing security for air travel in the U.S. has been urging people to obtain Real IDs for years, the new announcement made things far more serious by establishing the consequence of having Creepy Kevin be the screener for delinquent travelers.

"Trust me, you do not want this," said TSA spokesperson Dana Gilbert. "We've been patient with you people for a long time. We've asked politely that you get your Real IDs. We've even pushed the

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