The holidays aren’t merry for everyone. Some are reeling from the new or old sting of loss, or struggling with complicated family dynamics that suck the magic out of the season. Others are stressed about the high financial toll that accompanies all that gift-giving—or the anxiety of having to attend a string of social events. All these reasons, and more, can trigger the decision to opt out of holiday celebrations.

“Some people just want to see what it's like to have space for themselves at this time of year,” says Saba Harouni Lurie, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. “They want to give themselves permission to try something different and really understand why they say yes and no—figuring out what’s out of obligation, and what feels most authentic to them.”

But what

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