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Ray J says he was afraid when Princess Love 's cousin and her husband pulled up to his house demanding to take his kids ... but, even though he held a gun, he says he never pointed it at anyone.

The singer tells TMZ ... he went to his private bedroom to tell the live stream he was on that nobody would take his kids while they were intoxicated -- as he's alleging Princess Love and co. were at the time. Play video content

He says he didn't like having two people -- not including Princess Love, who lives in her own house down the street -- being in his private space near his child ... calling them aggressive and belligerent. Ray J says the three were invited guests to prep Thanksgiving dinner, but he didn't love that the extended family were up in the bedroom area.

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