NEWPORT BEACH, CA — Chipotle executives unveiled plans today for the restaurant chain to somehow get even worse.

After a decade of steadily transforming its once-delicious food into tasteless crap, Chipotle still believes there is room to be more awful.

"People say it isn't possible, but we're going to show them," said a spokesperson. "Chipotle has yet to really scrape the bottom of how lousy our food can be. You think our chicken is overcooked now? You just wait, buddy. We're about to go radioactive on those birds."

In addition to making the food even more terrible, Chipotle has released plans to make their egregiously atrocious ordering system more exasperating. "Customers already wait thirty minutes for a flavorless burrito because we have no system in place for handling both online

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