For years, I’ve theorized that Thomas Markle’s newspaper/television interviews have been scripted by British reporters and deranged royalists. I strongly suspected that Piers Morgan was Toxic Tom’s scriptwriter for a time. But back in early October of this year, there was a very revealing kerfuffle within the trashy Markle clan. Tom moved to the Philippines earlier this year, you see, and the move was at least partially facilitated by the Mail. When Samantha Markle tried to claim that Tom got stuck in a building during an earthquake, Tom and his Daily Mail “handler” denied the story, then they tried to milk the lie days later and claim that he actually was harmed by the earthquake in some way. Samantha ended up calling out Daily Mail editor Caroline Graham, who apparently moved to Rosita

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