Saturday Night Live alum Adam Sandler recalled his bittersweet departure from the Lorne Michaels-helmed show, saying he couldn’t watch the late-night institution for a year after he left.

“When I left the show, the first year I couldn’t watch it,” he told Timothée Chalamet in front of a crowd of fans at a recent Vanity Fair awards season event . “I couldn’t watch it — it just breaks your heart. I guess it’s like when you play sports or whatever, and all of a sudden, you leave, and you see the game keeps going. You go, ‘Oh, they didn’t need me, man.’ It breaks your heart a little bit.”

During the conversation, in which both actors rewatched their popular projects, Sandler also reflected on the ways SNL has changed throughout the years, including helmer and executive producer M

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