The official announcement that the popular biblical drama The Chosen will begin streaming on Disney+ elicited a mixed fan response, with some viewers wondering what types of changes Disney might make to the show.

In an exclusive report, The Babylon Bee can reveal the following list of changes Disney is bringing to The Chosen :

Jesus now has two mommies: The Bible finally gets a little groundbreaking storytelling.

Rose Tico stops Jesus from sacrificing Himself: "That's how we're gonna win."

Simon Peter will now be played by a woman of color: Time to add some diversity to the endless parade of male Middle-Eastern characters.

The Walt Disney Company will now own the trademark to the New Testament: The House of Mouse drives a hard bargain at the negotiating table.

God the Father

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