If you’ve ever dramatically broken up with an ex, only to find, to your miserable disbelief, that they keep popping up in the most inconvenient circumstances, you may feel a degree of sympathy with the royals as regards Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. A few weeks after he was stripped of his titles and ordered to leave Royal Lodge, he may now be the Andrew formerly known as Prince, but he shows no signs of wishing to leave his Windsor grace-and-favour home. By the terms of his (remarkably generous) lease, he is entitled to twelve months’ notice before departing. As one of his few remaining friends told the Times, ‘It’s really rather sad, but if it’s a case of who will blink first, then Andrew is going to dig in. He ain’t going anywhere.’

If this was the only problem that the royals faced, i

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