SAN FRANCISCO - According to sources, a year-old baby named Ukraine has become frustrated by the constant lamentations of his leftist parents, Gilbert and Olivia Gully, who - according to him - are way too sensitive.

"They cry over everything!" said baby Ukraine in his eloquent baby language. "Every time Trump or DeSantis are mentioned in the news, they start sobbing and shaking. And the virtue-signaling is out of hand! They named me in solidarity with the Ukrainian people because of the Russian invasion. Now every time they say my name they cry!"

Baby Ukraine moved his arms and legs wildly in anger. "I'm just so tired of it," he explained to his teddy bear.

This week alone, both parents burst into tears over LGBTQ+ rights, gender inequality, and plastic straws getting stuck in the nose

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