Snoopy is fashion now. Here he is stamped onto the side of a handbag in 2018. Edward Berthelot/Getty Images

One cannot shop, let alone breathe, without encountering Snoopy.

The smirking beagle has haunted me all holiday season. As soon as I started browsing for Christmas presents, I kept running into that dog and his gang of neurotic children. There he was, taunting me from a T-shirt at Urban Outfitters, and again, as a patch on a cashmere sweater Google served me while I searched for Snoopy-less mittens. I came upon him in a gift guide, trapped inside a Tamagotchi thingamajig (imagine accidentally murdering Snoopy through digital starvation), and at my grocery store, hawking Rice Chex cereal. He is laughing at me from his throne, rendered literally in a $1,390 statue of King

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