Season’s greetings!

These predictions were chosen from a list of other possibilities using a methodical scientific formula including being scored on a Nextdoor Panic Comments index (“What’s that loud noise?” “Why are those wind chimes moving?” “Why is that dairy delivery truck up at 4 a.m.?”) combined with a TC Line Fixation index (Airplanes make noise. Apartments are breeding like bunnies. Roads stink.) *These predictions are speculative, like your brother-in-law’s stock tips or the state of Colorado’s formula for getting a TABOR refund.

“No Vikings” Protest — Several Boulder County protesters get confused and stage a “No Vikings” protest. They show up at the Boulder County Courthouse with professional-looking signs stating: “Thor Had a Tiny Hammer,” “Greta Thunberg Disowns Her Heritage

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