ALTONA, MB

As soon as the residents of Golden Mennos Retirement Home saw on their lobby-cams that someone had dropped off free eggplants, there was a wild dash to the lobby.

“Argh, Mrs. Kroeker always gets here first,” said Mrs. Driedger, who sadly went back to her apartment empty handed. “It’s no fair that she lives so close to the lobby.”

Fresh garden vegetables are such a hot commodity at the retirement home, that the board has recently enacted a new policy.

“The lobby eggplants need not always go to the swiftest among us,” said board chair Mrs. Plett. “So from now on, we’re going to hold an eggplant raffle. This will go for any yams and dillweed left in the lobby, too.”

In order to get your hands on the veggies, residents will be asked to put their names in a hat, with the promise

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