EBENHORST, SK

A deceased Mennonite man from Ebenhorst has absolutely no clue his death and funeral is being used as an excuse by zealous young pastor Jim to emotionally manipulate the audience towards repentance.

“Hey, what can I say? Whatever works, right?” explains Pastor Jim. “What better place to launch into a fire and brimstone sermon than at Mr. Klassen’s funeral? Am I right?”

The deceased is currently unable to protest and tell off the pastor like he normally would because he’s a little indisposed at the moment.

“With all eyes bowed and all eyes closed,” began Pastor Jim. “Wait a minute? Can we get the choir to sing while I’m doing this? Okay. Let me start again…”

Pastor Jim didn’t mention the deceased once during his entire sermon, except to say that if loved ones and relative

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