WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance lashed out at working-class Americans today criticizing their inability to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and find an evil scheming oligarch to uplift them from poverty, sources confirmed.

“Every day I have to endure grousing from the whiniest Americans, complaining about how they can’t make ends meet—I mean how hard is it to dig down deep, take some personal responsibility, and find an unscrupulous billionaire to orchestrate your rise to power?” said Vance. “I grew up poor too, but did that stop me from selling my soul for the promise of wealth and power? The America I know was built on tough, hardworking folks supporting their families by shredding any dignity they had left, slapping on some thick eyeliner like a truck stop lot lizard, and whor

See Full Page