NEW YORK — President Donald Trump vowed to bring sweatshops back to the US by reverting chic loft apartments, confirmed uneasy sources.

“We’re going to have the greatest garment factories ever. You’ll all thank me. These expensive lofts will become the heart of American fashion and industry right here,” said Trump. “We’re going to get people back to work. Just like the old days when working conditions were hazardous and workers were dehydrated. In the end, you all will say, ‘Look at all of these beautiful American women wearing stylish American clothes. Now we make the best clothing here at home in America. Not China!’ It’s going to be big. So big. Even Canada will be wearing our clothing.”

Residents of an urban loft building have been caught off guard by the threats of being displaced.

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