“I hear you saying that this isn't what you are looking for.” Jess* looked at the message that popped up on her screen. After two days of silence, she asked her situationship for a gut check, and he’d been texting her ramblings like this ever since.

This all went down four years ago, but Jess, a 28-year-old who works in administration in Phoenix, Arizona, still remembers that frustrating conversation. “He sent me paragraphs, telling me that the time commitment of relationships was a ‘big problem,’” she says. “He repeated all the reasons why he couldn’t make it work, but then would say, ‘But if you don't feel like we are on the same page and this isn't for you, I can understand.’”

Still, she wanted him to be the one to officially pull the plug. “He was the one who checked out,” Jess say

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