Key points

People are having less sex now than in previous decades.

Sexual satisfaction isn’t about how much sex people have, but how connected and fulfilled they feel during it.

A couple that has sex less often, but talks openly, may actually feel more satisfied.

“How often should we be having sex?”

I hear this question at least once a week. From my therapy room to my circles of friends to social media . This question is out there, lingering. And like most people, I’ve seen countless opinions. I’m not here to offer another one or add to the confusion or pressure. Instead, I want to explain why this is the wrong question to be asking in the first place.

Because there is a glaring flaw in this discussion. The question of frequency assumes that there is a universal "right" number o

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