THIS week Trump’s cabinet could be seen engaging in some blatant brown-nosing. It was sickening, but maybe some sycophancy would advance your career and personal interests too? Try this.

‘May I take this opportunity to recognise your superb leadership?’

This is an absolutely nauseating thing to say to the pointless mediocrity who is your boss. But if he or she is as stupid and egotistical as Trump it could be good for your career. Sure it’s demeaning, but Pam Bondi seems to be doing fine without an atom of self-respect.

‘You are a girlfriend respected the world over’

Exactly how your extremely ordinary girlfriend you share a flat with in Reading has reached an international audience is unclear, but it’s still a compliment. And as such may unlock benefits such as lifts, meals and blowjo

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