WALKERVILLE — Students at Walkerville Elementary School will reportedly be held back a year after it came to light that their teacher, Ms. Valerie Frizzle, shrank them down to miniature size to spend the year in some guy's blood instead of teaching them to read.

"I don't know why she spent the entire year in some guy's body. They were supposed to be reading Charlotte's Web and learning about fractions," said Mr. Sinew, another teacher at the school. "They know a lot about the inner workings of the human body, but they're completely illiterate. Not a good look, Frizzle."

"These school bus journeys are great, but they're not part of our official curriculum and certainly not worth spending an entire year on," said School Superintendent Phillip Charge. "And that's not to mention the liabil

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