Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I have a 2.5-year-old daughter. She’s super smart, talkative, social, and a little feisty. She’s a great kid, who—like all 2-3 year olds—tests her boundaries, but responds well to a firm, loving approach.

My issue is her daycare situation. She’s been at this school since she was 7 months old and has thrived. But in this new “older toddler” class, she’s struggling with the teachers and expectations. She gets in trouble periodically for singing herself to sleep during nap time (something that’s never been an issue before now), or being unable to sit still for very long during circle time. I totally understand that this type of behavior is frustrating

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