WHENEVER a group of diners decide to pay for exactly what each has consumed it is because one of the group got f**king wrecked, it has been confirmed.

The theory was proven at D’Agostino’s in Reading last night when six friends who normally ‘just split it’ turned into forensic accountants at the sight of the bill, except for the smashed one.

Attendee Emma Bradford said: “Ordering drinks is basically an exercise in conformity worthy of psychological study; the first person’s booze-or-not decision sets the pattern for the table.

“We were all on soft drinks until Tom confidently asked for a large glass of Merlot, and we all started mentally calculating the cost and how to claw it back through pricier mains and breadsticks.

“But the cheeky prick didn’t stop there. ‘Another glass, please.’

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