REINLAND, MB

Area man Doug Reimer, 68, wandered over to the church kitchen for a snack this week, only to completely fe’schlucke himself on his own sausage on his way back to the couch.

“I’ve feschlucked myself plenty of times over the years,” explained Reimer, currently convalescing in the church nursery. “But there’s nothing more embarrassing than fe’schlucking on your own sausage.”

Thankfully, Mrs. Bergmann was there to give him a good thwack with her cane and dislodge the chunk of formavorscht.

“It went flying across the room and right into the bean salad,” explained Mrs. Bergmann. “It’s a dangerous world out there. You’ve gotta be careful.”

Reimer says it’s going to take him a while before he partakes in faspa again.

“My wife Carol says I should wait until I’m seated before munc

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