STEINBACH, MB

Always looking for cheap laughs, Mennonite satire site The Unger Review has just been offered a “bargain basement” deal to pick up the contract of late night host Stephen Colbert.

“CBS was like, ‘you can take him off our hands in exchange for a ring of farmer sausage and a bag of Old Dutch chip,’” said Unger. “Obviously they knew who they were negotiating with, so I immediately agreed to the deal.”

Colbert will begin his stint in Steinbach this week, where Unger has tasked him with writing a bunch of jokes about local mayor Earl Funk.

“I mean, I don’t need non-stop Funk jokes every evening, but a couple won’t hurt,” said Unger. “Then once he’s established in the market, I’ll have him move on to Kelvin Goertzen and Ted Falk. I just hope he can learn Plautdietsch pretty qui

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