Itry to keep an open mind. I'm always trying new experiences. I'll play with anything I can find in whatever cabinets I can open. I'll stick just about any object in my mouth. But despite my parents' insistence that I should enjoy it, I find bathtime a rather miserable affair.

What's the least fun liquid to drink? That's right: water, the tasteless entity that has no reason to exist when there are such things as fruit juice. And instead of drinking this water, I am placed into it. It's bizarre.

And my parents act like this is fun time, but if I actually try to have fun by doing things such as splashing the water at them, I get discouraged. Because this is not fun time. That's a lie. They're not giving me a bath for me. They're giving me a bath for them.

"Oh, you're dirty," they say - li

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