WASHINGTON, D.C. - In response to growing requests from his base, Biden has issued an executive order to form a commission on whether we should throw out the Constitution or not.

"Look folks, here's the deal, Jack-- for real this time. No more messin' around. Are we really even using the Constitution anymore anyways?" he said in a statement. "Maybe we can just get rid of the old thing! Maybe we can recycle it! Green! But we... we... anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah- they told me to sign this fancy executive thingy, so I am."

The commission will be bipartisan-- equally divided between people who think the Constitution is really awesome, and people who are sworn to destroy America and all of Western Civilization if it's the last thing they ever do.

AOC has criticized the commission as

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