DEAR ERIC: All my life, I have taken pride in being the peacekeeper, the one who smooths over tension, avoids conflict and tries to make sure everyone feels heard. I have always believed that kindness and flexibility are strengths, and I genuinely dislike confrontation.

However, in adulthood, this approach has not always served me well. Some of my closest friends, people I care deeply about, have told me that my efforts to keep the peace come across as indecisive or even spineless. They say I “placate too much” or “don’t take a stand.” It is painful to hear, because I am not trying to be passive – I am trying to be considerate.

I do not want to upset anyone, yet I find that I sometimes do, simply by trying not to. How can I stay true to who I am, someone who values harmony, while also be

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