NEW YORK, NY - Experts are encouraging everyone to get their kids vaccinated, and are predicting dire consequences if this is not done. According to several top scientists, Pfizer executives won't meet their sales goals if you don't vaccinate your 5 to 11-year-old.

"This would be absolutely catastrophic for struggling Pfizer execs," said Dr. Wexner, an expert. "Not vaccinating your kindergartener could jeopardize their ability to make their Porsche payments, pay off their mistresses, or remain platinum members at their golf clubs. We just can't let that happen."

Experts say that while COVID poses almost zero risk to children, and the vaccine poses a small chance of making children die, the consequences of not vaccinating kids would be far worse, as drug company execs may have to dip into

See Full Page