CHICAGO, IL — City officials were relieved to get some unexpectedly positive news following the holiday weekend, as Chicago shootings were reportedly down, as the guy who keeps track of all the shootings got shot.

The numbers came as a pleasant surprise after what was feared to be a record-breaking Labor Day weekend in the Windy City, with the shooting of the guy who is responsible for tabulating all the shootings providing much-needed relief from the onslaught of violent statistics.

"After that guy caught a bullet, our shooting numbers suddenly got a lot better," said Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson. "We were concerned about the sudden spike in shootings and other violent crimes over the weekend, but once someone shot the guy who is in charge of keeping track of shootings, things looked m

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