WASHINGTON D.C. - As President Joe Biden's first 100 days come to a close, he admitted to the press that he mainly saw his first months in office as a failure, as he was unable to achieve the primary goal of any Democrat: the complete destruction of the United States of America.

"If there is one thing that unites all Democrats," Biden said, "it's hatred of America and all of its freedoms. With me seizing the country after it's been staggered by the pandemic, there was an opportunity for me to immediately eradicate this country. But I failed."

It was a simple plan. After the wildly successful Trump presidency made America great again, the Democrats used the pandemic (which wasn't really a big deal) to destroy the flourishing economy. All that they needed after that was to steal the presid

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