KABUL - This week, Afghanistan's Ministry of Culture announced that the annual Pride Month Parade in their nation's capital will be canceled. A state spokesperson acknowledged that this was due to concerns that no gay citizens would show up for their special event.

"Our disappointment is great. We hoped this parade could help us identify and…honor…these wretched infidels...these members of our brave LGBTQ community!" Mr. Achmechehed Abinidaub spoke to reporters from the capitol steps in Kabul in his official capacity as Taliban spokesperson. "We like to celebrate the gays right off the roof sometimes - I mean, celebrate them on the roof! With a big gay party!"

Reporters have said that Mr. Abinidaub struggled to wipe a wolfish grin off his face when describing how he didn't want the count

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