Trump just took the Pentagon’s buttoned-up “Department of Defense” and slapped it with the kind of label you’d expect to see spray-painted on an African warlord’s Humvee: Department of War!

It’s the kind of rebrand that feels less like strategy and more like Hunter Biden freebasing Adderall while chain-smoking Marlboros in his pickup truck.

Like Cracker Barrel trying to “modernize” its brand with vegan sausage patties, this is like slapping neon paint on a tank and calling it art. Only here, instead of biscuits and gravy, it’s nukes and drone strikes.

The Oxymoron Nobody Asked For

Here’s the delicious contradiction: Trump’s been shouting from the rooftops about ending foreign entanglements, scaling back forever wars, and bringing the troops home. Like machine gun fire and jet noise,

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