If there were an Olympic sport where the winning team was the one that scored the most own goals, the Coalition would be draped in gold after its performance in the sitting fortnight just gone.
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From net zero to immigration, the gymnastic contortions were breathtaking, master classes in the fine art of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
First gold went to Barnaby Joyce. We mistakenly thought his sporting career was over when he took that spectacular dive off the Canberra planter box last February. How wrong we were.
To demonstrate he's still very much in the game - and that his ability to make a fool of himself is as sharp as ever -