Staffies have a face that says a thousand words, but if they could send texts, your phone bill would skyrocket. Their mix of stubborn charm, bottomless affection, and clown-like antics would fill your inbox in record time. Here’s what you’d probably wake up to today.

1. “Good morning, I licked your pillow. You’re welcome.”

Staffies don’t believe in personal space. The night ends with you drooling on the pillow, and the morning begins with them drooling on it too. Sharing is caring, right?

2. “Is the vacuum plotting against us or am I the only one paying attention?”

Every buzz of the vacuum is a full blown crisis in their eyes. If Staffies could text, they’d send live alerts with the urgency of a breaking news channel.

3. “Can we talk about breakfast? Or second breakfast? Or brunch?”

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