Today fan-favorite Sheinelle Jones has made her official return to the popular NBC morning show just a few months after the death of her husband, Uche Ojeh.

While appearing on the Sept. 9 episode, Jones opened up about the grieving process and why she called the experience a “beautiful nightmare.”

“My heart is shattered in a million pieces,” she told Today host Savannah Guthrie. “The life that I’ve known since I was 19 is no more. I’ve always wanted kids, and I have three kids of my own now, and they’ve lost their dad. And I’m their mom. It sucks.”

Her husband tragically passed away amid his battle with globastoma. He was 45 years old.

Recalling the moments before Ojeh’s passing, Jones remembered holding his hands, and they both said, “I love you.” She said it felt like a “full circle

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