We get it. Sometimes church can be offputting, especially when people ask you to do things or suggest you should stop sinning. What a bunch of jerks!

When the time comes for you to separate from your brethren over a petty dispute we recommend keeping your eye open for these nine important things when shopping around for your new worship home.

1) No judgment at all even if you're a big fat jerk: Jesus said not to judge and then He probably didn't say anything else after that to qualify the statement. NO JUDGING!

2) Comfortable pews: Ever tried sleeping in a wooden pew? Your back will hurt for days! Might want to make sure they recline and have built-in massagers too.

3) A sermon series based around the latest Marvel movie: How can you understand the Bible without comparisons betwee

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