MINNESOTA WILDERNESS - Several hikers at the Minnesota Valley State Recreation Area have reported seeing a wild man roaming the woods. Witnesses say he's wearing camel-hair clothing, eating locusts and wild honey, baptizing people in the Minnesota River, and looks an awful lot like Mike Lindell.

"Yes, it is I, Mike Lindell," confirmed Mike Lindell. "I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, prepare ye the way of Trump, and make his paths straight. So yeah-- basically out here getting people ready for the return of Donald Trump, which should be any day now."

When an angry crowd of libs gathered to see what was going on, the prophet Mike rebuked them all. "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Don't you realize that Trump is able to raise up voters from

See Full Page